Alien
by doremimamu
Summary: It takes effort to like someone. He doesn't even want to try. AU
1. Chapter 1

Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime

 **Alien**

Where he lived, everybody knew each other. It can be tiring, because more often than not, he felt like he was denied privacy.

Seriously, he couldn't wait to get out of this shithole.

School was boring. Entertainment was scarce. The townfolk loved nothing more than prying into each other's bussiness. It was a known fact that most decent people would stay out of here. Though he couldn't say the same for the family who just settled recently...

"She has a daughter, but no husband in sight. What's more, a gentleman visited them every now and then..."

"I don't mean to gossip, but she doesn't seem to work while everyday dressing up in fine silk and leisurely strolling around that big ranch. Don't you find it suspicious how she could afford all that?"

"Maybe she's a kept woman."

"You mean like a mistress?"

The newcomer lady and her daughter had it bad. They were under everyone's scrutiny and on everyday's conversation. He could only imagine how insufferable all of this mental torture and shuddered.

The lady might not have to deal with it directly as she was seldom to be seen. Her daughter who happened to be in the same as class as him, however, had no choice but to put up a brave face every morning.

The daughter was a beautiful little thing too detached from her surrounding. His friend had summed her as exquisite, mournful, and tragic.

Somehow he agreed.

 **Her name is Historia.**

The girls were too intimidated to talk to her. The boys were enamored by her. He was somewhere in between, not quite sure where to stand.

They sat together during Home Economy, but barely talked. When they did, it was mostly related to the lesson. The teacher paired them up so they'd stuck to each other for the whole semester.

"Please hand me the egg."

"I think you should flip it now- Be careful! Geez! Give it to me!"

"S-sorry!"

"Your sleeve is in the way! It could catch fire!"

"Sorry..."

For someone so small, her dress was ridiculously oversize that she was drowned on it. He was not sure why her stylish mother didn't pay much attention to the way her daughter was dressed or whether she did dress up like potato sack on purpose. Then suddenly an image of single apple came into his mind.

"Your mother doesn't cook?"

She froze at his question.

"If I'm not wrong, don't you always have an apple for lunch?"

There were murmurs and snickers. Everybody was staring at them. Her face was unreadable.

It took him a moment to realize he had humiliated her in front of the class. On his defense, he didn't do it on purpose. But the result was still the same.

 **Apple, apple**

"You are no better than a bully."

Armin scolded him a bit harsher to his liking.

"Go and apologize, Eren."

Bossy Armin started to get on his nerve. If he was a jerk, he could retaliate.

 _"Then you go and confess to her, Armin."_

He wasn't cut out to be a jerk though, so he said the necessary.

"I know."

And would do the right thing.

 _Finding Historia, easy. Blurting an apology, awkward... but totally doable._

Spotting her blonde hair, he quickly marched over, then snorted a laugh when he realized she was busy munching apple under the tree.

Historia looked up in surprise and lost her hold on the apple. The red fruit rolled until it stopped slightly before his feet, openly taunting him.

"Apple, huh."

She said nothing, her grim expression did.

Crouching to pick the apple, he noticed her thin ankles and wondered if she was eating enough.

His gaze went up to her pleated skirt which was too long, bunched around her waist, and tied up to prevent it from falling. Her blouse looked at least two sizes too big. Apart from the attire malfunction, the style kind of reminded him of his mother.

"Why do you wear your mother's clothes?"

He wished he could take it back for how appalled she was. Without a word, she snatched the apple then left.

 **Fool**

He's been standing still with nagging feeling on his chest.

 _Is she going to eat that apple?_

 _It's been on the ground, so it must be dirty..._

 _What else, dummy? Like she got any option._

The scene kept repeating on his mind. Her bony hand. The pitiful apple. The oversize clothes. Her offended expression.

He should've just apologized, not broadcasting his mind without being asked.

 _Dammit, dammit, dammit..._

 **Present**

She was so small back then and she still is. Gone were clumsy gestures and naivete she had clung so dearly on their early years. That girl now was eerily composed with a disposition of a queen. He might as well stood in front of a complete stranger had she not greeted him awhile ago like an echo from the past.

Years had passed in a blink of eyes, turning teens into adults, but he still knew no better than his former seventeen year old self.

"I'd never thought I see you here. You're still..."

 _Beautiful_...

"..so small."

She hit him in retaliation and he winced.

"And you still don't know how to talk to a girl," she murmured, turning away with a swirl that reminds him of a ballerina.

Both of them began to walk with her in front and he followed a metre behind. Every once in a while, she would look over her shoulder, making small talk. He would listen and reply when necessary.

He had no complaint. With her back is facing him, he could observe her freely.

She used to let her hair down, sometimes tied in ponytail. Now she had them in plaits, arranged neatly in chignon style. Cute, but there was something mature about it as well.

Her current clothes, he noticed, no longer resembling hand-me-downs belonged to someone two-three sizes bigger. She was wearing a one piece with long coat outside and knee-high boots, which complimented her slender figure nicely.

Comparing to her younger self, older Historia looked alive with the right cut and style.

 _Armin would be even more charmed for sure._

"Hey, Historia! Remember Armin?"

She bobbed her head down in response.

"What do say the three of us go for a drink?"

Craning her neck to him, she smiled.

"I'd be happy to."

 _I'm such a good friend!_


	2. Chapter 2

Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime

 **Signal from abandoned star**

"Eren," Armin nudged him. "Don't you think it's strange that she goes with transfer in the middle of semester?"

The aforementioned girl was going to the restroom, giving them a free pass to talk about her.

"I guess, if you say so."

Seeing him appear to be indifferent, Armin went on.

"We are in our third year at university, not some highschool. You don't abruptly do that without risking your credits. She could have waited a few more months and-"

Armin halted his words, seeing Historia coming.

She had a smile that didn't quite reach the eyes. Her eyeliner was a bit smudged, which he probably should tell her later.

"All right." She plopped down on her seat. "I think I should let you two know about what's happening in our hometown."

Then she began to fill them with some news, like who moved out of town, whose sister got married, some new shops that just opened, all things they were familiar with.

He had been calling home from time to time. His mother was always nagging him to come visit. He didn't want to say it on her face, but aside from her, he missed nothing back there. Tonight he couldn't help but to reminisce regardless. Sitting beside his highschool mates might have brought up that nostalgic feeling.

"You still can't cook?" He teased her, remembering how clumsy she had been. "You couldn't even flip an egg to save your life."

"Of course I can!" She answered a bit louder, cheeks a shade darker. "Out of all things about me, why do you only remember that!?"

"Let me tell Armin how I always ended working by myself on Home Economy- Ouch! Historia!"

Despite being small, the girl could really punch.

He caught her wrist on time as she was about to hit him again.

"Eren, come on, let her go," Armin nervously looked back and forth between Historia and him.

He looked down to Historia whose eyes locked on him, then began to remember something.

"Don't harm me, okay? You got something..." Gently, his thumb rubbed a spot below her eye. The eyeliner smudge from before. "Here."

She thanked him quietly, touching the place his finger been.

 _She's been crying._

Reluctantly he let her wrist go, suddenly feeling out place. The alcohol must have gotten into him.

"I need some fresh air."

With that suddenly said, Historia stood up and walked outside.

It was sort of a code, in which a girl implicitly invites a guy to go somewhere. Both he and Armin went silent, waiting for each other to make a move.

"You should go after her," Armin solemnly suggested. "We couldn't possibly let her to go back alone."

He didn't even insist the other way around.

 **I'm not _him_**

When he approached her outside, her plaits had disintegrated, leaving long hair down on its place. Her black coat draped across her shoulder, creating contrast to her pale skin. Historia somehow reminded him of a witch.

Checking his watch, he made a gesture for her to follow him. They chatted a bit. Her words were clear, not slurred, a sign of how sober she was.

They were about to reach the main street when he felt her weight on his back, small arms clutching his waist.

A gesture that felt oddly out of place, yet made him crave for more, if he were ever familiar with that sentiment.

With a sigh he began to speak.

"Historia, I'm not _him_."

That dampness thing on his back had begun to grow. He would hate to see his favorite shirt to be ruined by tears and make up.

"I don't mind."

But more than anything, he knew he would hate himself in the morning.

 **Jetlag**

He pretended to be asleep when she tried to slip out unnoticed. A click sound and he knew it was safe to open his eyes. He languidly made his way to the bathroom, getting ready for his class, but his mind was elsewhere.

There were worse things that could happen. They did none of those things, regardless.

He recalled a very late movie night ended with her nodding off and falling asleep on his lap. During that time he had stopped paying attention to the movie, missing the last quarter of it.

Not having a heart to wake her, he stayed still on that position and endured the numb feeling on his leg.

 _Remind me to never agree babysitting her again!_

But he knew it was a lie.

As impractical as she was, he would try harder not to be his stupid, insensitive younger self.

He was about to doze off when she murmured _his_ name.

 **Satellites**

Funny how universe works. She had purposely tried to distance herself away from _him_ , even resorted to skipping town. And here he was, standing right in front of her.

Before she realized, her legs had already carried her to the opposite direction.

...

He hadn't expected to see her so soon. And under the rain no less. Universe can be so dramatic.

She had been too absorbed on her own head that she had failed to notice him. When she did, she lost her words.

"Oh, Eren, I'm-I'm-"

"Walking down the rain without umbrella?" he asserted in deadpan expression.

She backed down in reflex. There was no humor in his voice.

"You left without saying anything. Now what are you running away from?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Electricity**

She looked at him disapprovingly.

"I had expected you to bring me somewhere fancy."

If there was anything she learned from her mother, it would be rules to bend a man. Always, always appear disastifying no matter how much effort a man had put into her. Contrary to popular belief, men seem to like that kind of girl. The crueler the better.

She had thought Erwin Smith was no different. However, instead of falter, the man smiled knowingly, as if had anticipated her tantrum.

"An underage girl walks into an upscale establishments with a man who at least 12 years her senior simply will send a wrong message. Bringing you to a hotel isn't recommended either because it'll look like a cheap affair."

Historia's face grew scarlet at his explanation. No matter how mature she tried to present herself, she was just a highschool girl nonetheless, and an inexperienced one.

 _Was there really anything she ever learn from that wretched woman she called mother?_

"Isn't cafe like this what girls into these days?" He continued after she got a hold of herself.

 _Or perhaps she was not cut to be like her mother and Erwin clearly knew that._

Slowly, hesitantly, she nodded.

 **Sticky syrup**

"Did you do some research before taking me here?" She asked curiously, eyeing the rococo-style interior of the cafe. Erwin, who obviously more of a sleek and mature kind of guy, couldn't possibly into girly, Petit Trianon-esque cafe... She on the other hand, had failed to contain her awe. The excitement was all over her voice and he must have sensed it.

"This place is always featured in magazines, voted the best date spot! Many girls in my school were dying to go here!"

"Were you not, too?"

He gave her a meaningful look, which she couldn't help but to avoid, feeling shy all of sudden.

 _What would her schoolmates think of her when they saw her on a date with an adult? Not just any adult, but a suave and composed-_

"Historia..."

She snapped out of her reverie to see Erwin pushing his drink away with scrunched face.

"...What in the world am I drinking?"

 **Must you flaunt it before my eyes**

Most students were already left at that time, save for few who still attending the club. The rain hasn't stopped for awhile. He was taking out the umbrella from the locker, while his eyes remained at a familiar figure near the school entrance.

Even from where he stood, he could tell that Historia Reiss was fidgeting nervously.

He had wanted to rush pass her, muttering bye and be on his way, but something had prevented him from doing so...

As stubborn as he was, he silently realized this.

Between the locker and the school entrance, there laid a chance to be a better man. Either he would take it or leave it, the decision was yet to come...

Then from his peripheral vision he saw a movement.

A car was coming, the expensive looking type which was rarely seen around. His suspicion was soon confirmed when the car pulled by the entrance. Squinting, he noted the plate belonged to the capital city.

Historia walked up to the car.

He was kind of frustrated to realize the heavy rain had provided some sort of veil to obscure his view. Even without the rain, the tinted window was there to keep some privacy, making it hard to identify the driver whom she seemed familiar with. Must be someone important, he dared to guess.

Unmoved from his spot, he watched her getting inside the car without hesitation, and in the process, giving him a glimpse of an older gentleman behind the wheel.

 **Big bang**

Just had another petty fight with one of his classmates and didn't even remember why. His temper was running pretty high lately.

He was making a mental note to spill soda on Jean's locker later when his eyes caught a familiar blonde's head dissappeared under the staircase.

 _Heck, even Historia Reiss playing truant!_

Making up his mind, he slipped quietly following her trail. There was faint thud of door closing in the distance.

Emergency door, he deduced.

...

"Well, well, miss Reiss!"

Historia straightened up in a hurry. She was about to dispose her cigarette when she realized who was there.

"God! Eren! You gave me a heart attack!"

The boy was leaning on the door frame, arms folded.

"To think I'd see the day you rebel and act like a delinquent." Clicking his tongue, he had a mocking expression, which seemed to further aggravate her.

"You want to tell on me?" She glared at him while resuming to smoke.

He tried to read her, but it was hard when she put up a wall. She must be still raw from last time, thanks but no thanks to he and his good-for-nothing-mouth.

Finally he let out a breath, deciding to call a truce.

"Nah, where's the fun in that?"

They spent some time there. A lot of smoking and less talking, which was good. He was afraid he would say something offensive had he let his mouth running.

"I had no idea that you smoke," she commented.

He secretly took his half brother's cigarette from time to time but she didn't need to know about that.

"It's not uncommon for boys. What do you say about yourself?"

"I try not to make this a habit..." she sighed, carefully tucking the cigarette pack inside her skirt pocket. "This is just a way to relieve stress."

Honestly he was a bit concerned. Historia was smaller than he had remembered, something must have eaten her out from inside. He totally understood the boys' obsession about her, the want to protect the dainty girl...

Well, she may have the look but she wasn't that innocent, he reminded himself.

"Too stressful to manage relationship with a married man?"

He was meant to tease her, hadn't really expected his remark to contain full degree of truth. The way her face had immediately fell in shame was an undisputable testament.

 _She didn't even bother to deny it..._

Patting off the front of her skirt, she stood up.

"I can't miss another class, so I'm gonna go."

He didn't know what came after him but he hurriedly blocked her way, coming between the door and her.

"Are you going to run everytime I'm telling the truth?"

They went silent for a while.

"You don't discriminate, do you, Eren?" She smiled weakly.

Something was telling him he wouldn't like to hear the rest of it but here he was, cocking his head to the side with indifferent expression. After all they didn't call him suicidal bastard for nothing.

"You pick fight with anyone. You say the first thing on your mind without second thought. Being a honest person and insensitive jerk come as no different to you."

"God, Historia." He let out a tired sigh. "You're an alien..."

"What..."

"Are you as blind as your sorry excuse for that dress?" he spat. "Your man is a married man! Seriously, what's wrong with you!"

Her lips quivered a bit, but then she masked it nonchalantly.

"I don't need your consent. This is my life."

He looked at her in disbelief, an expression to say how disgusted he was.

"Go ahead, say it," she challenged him. "This won't be the first time you make fun of me."

He had wanted to shake her, putting some sense into her, frustratingly so... but he realized she had too far gone that whatever he wanted to do would be futile.

"Right..." Blinking, a sneer slowly made its way into his face. "Forgive me to forget."

A chill began to settle on her spine.

"You're just a mistress' daughter. Sooner or later you'll end up like your mother."

 **What he said**

It happened on her third year of university.

Her guts had been telling her that her relationship with Erwin Smith wouldn't get anywhere. She realized that while pretending to be unaware to the reappearance of a ring on his finger. He never told her about leaving his wife so it shouldn't come as a surprise. But still...

Like waking up from a very long dream, she had no recollection of how she had arrived on her bedroom. She was curling in fetal position, gazing through the window above her head.

She should've known...

Erwin had stopped coming lately. There had been no contact. And wasn't she the one who said that their relationship had an expiration date, so this should work out fine...

...Right?

Honestly she had no idea...

Faintly, she could hear her mother crying in the next room. And along with it, she remembered what she's been told.

 _"You're just a mistress' daughter. Sooner or later you'll end up like your mother."_


	4. Chapter 4

Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime

 **Tension, tension**

 _The rain began to come with torrential downpour, emptying the pedestrian path in no time._

 _"This is me being nice," he said, pulling her under his umbrella. "Can you run?"_

 _..._

For someone so impulsive, his apartment was surprisingly tidy. Shoes were lined up in rows. Wall void of pictures and decorations, with a lone sofa against it. Blooming morning glories—what a twist, she'd never pegged him to care for delicate things—curiously peeked from the balcony. The window was wide opened and the whole room basked in dull afternoon gray, smelling like rain.

Playing a good host, he had graciously offered to wash her wet clothes and lent her his shirt, which draped on her like a mini dress.

Nobody spoke for awhile, feeling content by sitting and sipping the tea.

"You were right," she broke the silence. "I'm my mother's daughter."

It took him a moment to discern. When he did, he remained indifferent, but his eyes were softened.

"You shouldn't have taken the words of a seventeen years old seriously." Leaning into his palm, half of his lower face was hidden. "Just forget about it."

"I wish I could forget about a lot of things... Messing around with married man has costed me my reputation."

His neck felt tightened all of the sudden, recalling he had witnessed the man picking Historia that day. Not knowing any better, he had _accidentally_ mentioned the fact to another boy. Before summer had ended, everybody had known, making the already shy girl even more withdrawn.

Seeing his troubled expression, Historia pressed on, "You don't know? Back then everybody in highschool knew the whole Historia dating an older man. It even went as far as I got into compensated dating and all. Terrible, right?"

Feeling thoroughly nauseated, he curtly nodded. Then, he decided to come clean, "That rumor in high school, about you dated an older guy... It was me."

She was frozen.

He could hear wheels behind her head turning. She blinked and the air suddenly crackled with electricity.

 _Here we go_ , he braced himself.

With a roar, she lunged at him, fingers clawing, legs kicking. She was smaller and lighter that handling her on agressive mode wasn't a problem—almost like stifling an angry cat actually, only bigger—besides he easily overpowered her.

"Historia, wait-"

"You lowlife! You didn't just make highschool unbearable with your unwanted opinion, you had to shit all over it as well!"

He yelped in panic, eye almost got gouged out in the process. Historia was relentless on her pursue, trying her hardest to get ahold of him, hopefully drawing some blood.

"It was just rumor! People stopped talking about it after some time!"

His attempt to dispel her rage only intensified her struggles. Her leg shot up, aiming for his crotch. His free hand intercepted it before she managed to do so. As if able to read her mind, his knee pinned her other leg as well, forcing her to stay still.

"It's been three years! Why are you still holding the grudge!?"

The girl under him threw him a vicious look, eyes burning with hatred.

"You had no idea, didn't you? Those mean girls in highschool posted my profile on adult dating site! I had to deal with lengthy ordeal to take it down! By then, there were perverts, slut-shaming..."

Words hung in the air as she trembled in anger.

The damage had been done. He had screwed her more than he knew. He was about to formally apologized when something stung his neck.

"OUCH!" he exclaimed and rushed to stand, clutching a damp spot on his neck. "You bit me!"

"You asked for it," she growled but sated, at least had managed to harm him.

"I knew you'd play dirty." He plonked back into the sofa and ignored the annoyed look she gave him.

"Shut up or I'll bite your tongue." She slid to the edge of the sofa, purposely distancing herself from him.

"Is that an offer?" he mocked her.

"Don't be cheeky, Eren," she scoffed in dismissive manner. "You're still a kid."

He had thought of a comeback but decided against it. Instead he sat still with a hand rubbing his neck, studying her in cautious manner as someone would do a dangerous animal.

She appeared to be so angelic and kind—even after trying to severe his vein—that boys would flock and worship her without any misgivings, never would have guessed she could be a snarky, manipulative bitch—otherwise how could she got into affair with a seemingly respective gentleman.

Worse he found this version of Historia better. How could he find her batshit attitude to be so appealing? Interesting theory that crazy always draws crazy...

Her lips had a hint of blood. His blood.

"Gross," he made a face and unconsciously reached to wipe it.

She did nothing to stop him.

 **Kindergarten**

"Eren, what's on your neck?"

"Hah! Never knew you're into this kind of thing. How kinky!"

The said person sheepishly raised his collar to cover the glaring evidence.

"Let me see your note, Armin," he tried to change the topic on purpose. "I need all the help I could get in the upcoming exam."

To his chagrin, Jean and Armin exchanged a knowing look, deciding to pester him more.

"Who cares, you'll most likely pass with minimum grade. Anyway who gave you _that_?"

He shot Jean a dirty look, "None of your bussiness."

"I'm curious as well," Armin peeled his collar to get a better look. "What exactly happened here, Eren?"

"Yeah, what exactly?" Jean parroted the blond. "Nobody on their right mind would stay close to you, let alone leave a hickey."

"...I'm not sure this is a hickey," Armin voiced his doubt, staring at the bluish mark. "To call this a love bite would be an understatement. Whoever did this must have bitten you out of anger, right, Eren?"

"Who bite whom?"

"JESUS! CONNIE!" Jean jumped in surprise. "You shouldn't be left unattended! Where's your siamese twin!?"

The three of them followed Connie's finger to find Sasha walking over their direction. She wasn't alone. Eren's heart almost stopped seeing her companion.

"Isn't that Historia?" Armin squinted his eyes. "What's with the mask?"

Jean scratched his head in respond. "Beats me. Flu season's still months away."

"Sasha, Historia, over here!" Connie waved wildly, then turned to them in conspiratorial stance, "Even with that mask, Historia was still getting hit on, can you believe it?"

"Do you remember Reiner Braun proposed to her silly at the graduation?" Jean shook his head. "Man... if a reliable guy like him got turned down, I guess we wouldn't even stand a chance."

Eren was getting lost on his own thought. Whatever they said had ran past him as he leaned to his elbow, eyes following Historia's move.

They then began to realize something amiss. Halfway to their tables, Historia began to stop. To Eren's horror, the small girl started to turn away and change direction.

"O-oi-what happened?" Connie looked confused.

Jean shrugged, "Hell if I know."

Eren fidgetted nervously on his seat, which didn't go unnoticed by Armin.

When Sasha successfully half-dragged the panic looking Historia and cheerfully greeted them, Armin and Jean couldn't help but inquired about the mask.

"She's wearing mask because she fell and cut her lips," Sasha explained on behalf of the masked girl.

"Is that necessary? I mean, I got cuts all the time and I hardly care."

"Because girls are concerned about appearance, duh," Jean chided Connie, then turned to Historia. "But you don't need to be shy, Historia."

She nodded and mumbled something.

"It's hard to understand with the mask on. It's kind of muffling your voice. How about taking them off?" Armin suggested. When she looked torn, he quickly added in persuasive tone, "We won't judge. You're between friends."

Eren's mouth twitched in annoyance—Armin clearly was up for something, that crafty childhood friend of his—but he didn't dare to say anything for unsaid reason.

He mentally cringed hearing Sasha encourage her, "Armin's right. There's nothing to be embarassed of."

Historia finally relented, pulling the mask off to reveal a pair of swollen lips, most likely caused by a case of rough making out.

"How... unfortunate..." Armin's words came unnatural, following by Sasha's sharp intake, Connie's widened eyes, and Jean's curse.

Eren tightened his collar around his neck, knowing exactly what beneath their collective shocks.


	5. Chapter 5

Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime

 **Interview**

He said nothing when Armin slid beside him with every intention to pry.

"I had no idea things move so fast between you and Historia. You did a sloopy job by the way."

He was thrown by Armin's opening. Had his nerd friend just insinuated that he was a lousy kisser? Well, he heard no complaint from Historia...

"I didn't mean to go behind your back. I know you like His-"

"I _used_ to have crush on her," Armin cut in, firmly correcting him. "But I wasn't delusional to think that we could be more than friends."

"Guess I wouldn't know." A pregnant pause. "Why are you telling me this?"

Armin chuckled like he just heard a silly joke. "Are you so dense that I need to spell it out?"

Eren's eyes twitched in annoyance. He knew Armin could be snide, but this just took it to a whole new level and he secretly blamed Jean for it.

"Don't hold back on my account, Eren," Armin said, thoughtful. "She's a fair game."

 **In his head**

When summer came, students went away but he stayed, filling for a part-time job at a fine dining establishment at the city center. Celebrities and politicians—whom he could expect decent tips from—often frequented the place.

"Now that you're living in big city, you're becoming too good to come back here," his mother quipped over the telephone.

Partly true, but he had refused to admit it. So instead, he pointed out the fact that he ran into Historia in the city.

"You see, I'm not the only one who doesn't come home. Do you remember Historia? Yeah... that's the one... "

He and Historia had crossed path a few times. During those times, his guts had practically failed him. There was nothing he could say beyond simple greetings and small talks. Something had been holding him from getting friendlier towards her.

Things shifted on the second week of summer. Day and night were tangled helplessly with merciless heat. His fridge was overflowed with popsicles. The morning glories on the balcony wilted away. He was already desperate for the summer to be over.

Then one morning, when the temperature was bearable, Historia showed up in front of his door, asking him to come and explore the city.

"Everybody is leaving and being with myself is lonely," she answered his questioning gaze.

He could take a guess why she hadn't mentioned even once about going home.

All he learned from his school days was Historia could be a little socially awkward. She wasn't trying to fit in, preferred to wander on her own. If her dress and measly lunch were of any indication, her mother didn't seem to pay much attention either.

Now she was twenty and heartbroken. Had pulled herself out of sorrow but the blow had been too hard, shattering whatever left of her heart, too broken to fix.

 _She's a fair game,_ Armin's words echoed on his head.

 _Ohhhh he wanted to see him try and fail, didn't he_?

"My job starts at 5. We have some time until then," he announced, decision made.

 **Daylight chaser**

Dragging her hand over her face, she shielded her eyes against the sun.

They were walking the deserted street on meandering summer, mapping unfamiliar nooks and corners. His presence behind her gave a sense of security.

"Hey..." she looked over her shoulder. "It's almost time."

They had reached the riverbank. The late afternoon was quiet, save for the sound of cicadas and buzzing dragonflies.

"I know," he said feebly.

He'd hate to be late for a job that was paying well, yet he was recklessly allowing himself to be distracted by the staggering figure in front of him.

The flimsy sandals on her feet weren't meant for walking long-distance. It was only a matter of time before she slipped.

When that happened, with a deft movement he caught her and twisted her body towards him.

Her skin felt cool in contrast to the humidity, but the frantic pulse on her wrist was beating hotly, mimicking his heart rate.

She chewed her lower lip with face only mere inches away from him. Their proximity and her scent were dizzying.

Before he could pull away, the tip of her tongue had playfully licked a drop of sweat on his chin, sampling the warm skin under.

He bolted away as if had been stung.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" His voice came out stronger than he had intended to.

Historia tumbled a bit before stood very still, wordlessly taking in his dilated pupils, flushed cheeks, and nervous demeanor.

Her companion quickly averted his eyes, looking at anywhere but her.

"I'm sorry, Eren... I was..."

She wasn't feeling like herself. Had been under the sun for too long, the draw of memory was too strong she couldn't contain it.

 **Step back**

The first time they met, Erwin Smith was under her father's tutelage. In politician's term, he would most likely to suceed her father's position one day.

As father's right hand, he was familiar with his affairs. Sometimes he would come in his place whenever he couldn't make it. Her mother's mood would turn sour in return, refusing any offer to remedy the situation. Rather than coming down, she would cry in her room for hours, wasting her tears for a man who never seemed to be available.

Somehow it would always end up with her and Erwin enjoying dinner somewhere in the city. Whenever they ran into his acquaintances, he would simply introduce her as his niece.

"I'm looking forward for our next meeting, Historia," was what he always said before he went away.

By the end of the year, she was filled with a sense of longing, beginning to see him not as part of his father's obligation, but rather in his capacity of a man. It was a reason enough to say her feeling out loud that night and his reaction was a gentle said "I know."

She didn't know what to make of it.

That boy who sat next to her on Home Economy class never had problem to speak his mind. He would give her a direct answer without mincing his words nor regard to her feeling.

 _Would that be better?_

She had no answer to that question.

 **Rumor**

"Yeah, I met Historia."

"She is very nice, always greeting me whenever we run into each other. It's not very often you see someone with the whole package, so why don't you go after her?" A click of tongue. "Too out of your league, huh?"

"What do you mean, Mom? Talking like that to your only son..."

He could hear his mother snickering before resuming on a more serious note.

"If you're not after her, then what was she doing in your apartment?"

"She only dropped by."

"Your neighbor caught her walking out at three in the morning."

A pause.

"We just hang out." He felt the need to clarify. "Nothing more."

She sighed, "To avoid gossip, next time please ask her to just spend the night or at least going out at more decent hour."

He sounded unsure. "You told me to spend night with a girl..."

"A mother knows what her son's worth. I know you won't try anything funny."

 _Oh, well._

It would be dumb to contradict that.


	6. Chapter 6

Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime

 **Reunion**

"Whoah, so fancy," Connie gawked at another luxury car which just passed. "Why are there so many of them today?"

"There is a reunion going," Armin explained. "Eren's brother is coming too. He's an alumni."

"You have a brother?" Historia clearly didn't expect that.

"Yeah." _Half-brother._

"You should introduce him to Historia," Armin suggested, eyeing Sasha who already ran towards the cafeteria with Connie tagging behind.

"What does he look like?" Historia asked, her eyes scanning the crowd.

"He's nothing like Eren," Armin hinted, earning a quizzical look from the girl and a scoff from Eren.

"Shall we find him?" asked Historia, curiosity got the better of her.

"I'd like to help, but unfortunately I've got an appointment with my professor."

Eren made a face at him. "On the first day of the new semester?"

Armin cleared his throat, shoving him to Historia's direction. "Go, Eren. I'll see you guys around."

...

The yard was packed and his brother was nowhere in sight. Eren turned away to find a distracted looking Historia a few steps behind.

"Is something wrong?"

Her restlessness had begun to bother him. She had been holding her gaze to a tall figure. Even from afar, there was something vaguely familiar about him.

Eren's eyes widened in realization. The time he had witnessed a gentleman picking Historia up years ago was slowly coming back to him.

 **When summer had gone**

"Miss Reiss," he smiled. His tone was relax but she automatically stiffened like a child got caught cheating. "What a coincidence."

"Erwin..."

Slightly caught off guard, she quickly changed her manner.

"It's been awhile, Mr. Smith," she formally addressed him without delay, taking his offered hand to shake.

"I was surprised to find that you moved out. It was rather sudden."

Erwin was still holding her hand, not caring that he was there. Historia didn't make any move to retract her hand, either.

"However, your father is very pleased with your decision. If there is anything you need, I'll be glad to assist you."

"Thanks... I mean, thank you!" she exhaled nervously. "I'm with my-"

"Boyfriend?" Erwin asked without missing a beat, as if it were nothing.

Flustered, she fumbled with her reply before proceeded to introduce Eren to the man.

Eren couldn't say a lot about Erwin Smith. Scrutinized him intently and he still couldn't find a fault. Erwin Smith was an archetype of respectful adult every young man aimed to be. _Damn Historia and her type..._

"Do you mind if I borrow Historia for a while?" Erwin asked politely after their perfunctory introduction.

"Sure," he consented. "I'm off to find my brother."

The later was directed to Historia before he quit the scene.

 **Precocious kids**

"Dammit Zeke! Stop looking around my stuff!"

Fuming, Eren slammed the bathroom cabinet close before pushing his brother out. The older Jaeger sheepishly made his way to the only bedroom in the apartment. Eren trailed behind, massaging his temple.

It hadn't even been half an hour since Zeke's arrival, yet he could already sense a massive headache on the way.

He always had love and hate relationship with his brother. Despite ten years of age difference, they were pretty close. Sure his curiosity had driven him mad so many times—just before Zeke had spent a good ten minutes studying his vanity choice...

Now Zeke was looking at him all funny, not mentioning anything, but he felt like he was being judged.

"What?" he asked when the silence became too awkward.

"I saw some feminine product-"

"Not mine!"

"Girlfriend's?"

"Just friend!"

"I suppose this friend of yours is friend with benefit," Zeke cleared his throat, his eyes landing on a packet of condom by the nightstand.

All the color was drained from Eren's face. There would be no end of this if Zeke decided to tell his mother...

...

Despite unwilling, he had parted some details about Historia to Zeke, who in return had provided him with some insight about Erwin Smith.

Turned out Zeke was Erwin's junior at the university. Even better—or worse, Eren had hard time to decide—they belonged to the same social circle.

"I know her. Isn't she Erwin Smith's niece?" Zeke leaned closer to get a better look at Historia on Eren's yearbook page. "I ran into them a few times. Erwin told me her parents were busy so he kind of babysat her."

 _Tell me something I don't know._ Eren's mocking sneer urged, prompting his brother to tell something off the book.

Zeke smiled knowingly, "Who hang out with their niece past the curfew? You sure know to pick troublesome girl, huh, Eren?"

Eren snatched his yearbook back, offering Zeke that sacharine smile of his. "Like what you've said, we are friends with benefit. Everything is strictly physical."

 **Relapse**

"Thank you for sending me home. You shouldn't have," Historia said briefly—safety belt off, hand on the door handle—ready to leap out the car. "See you-"

She froze when Erwin's hand found hers. His eyes locked on hers, silently gauging her reaction...

Historia felt strangely feverish. Overwhelming by the simple contact, it barely registered on her mind that a minute ago she had been desperate to get away.

"Really," he murmured, stroking her palm. "You're as tiny as ever. Have you been eating enough?"

"Erwin-"

 _Dumb girl. After all he's done, don't you grovel back to him._

Stiffening, she could hear Eren's objection as clear as day. The next thing she knew she was stumbling out of the car in disgraceful manner. Erwin followed after her, while keeping some distance.

"Feel bad already?" There was an apologetic smile on his unruffled expression. "You and that boy are not just fooling around after all."

Heart pounding, a sudden barrage of images hit her without warning—dark hair, tanned skin, strong arms around her...

"We are not like _that_." She tried to push them out of her mind, focusing on the man in front of her.

"How about your wife?"

He broke into cynical chuckle and shook his head. "Are we keeping scores now? Then you don't need to involve my ex-wife."

Swallowing the news, she stammered, "S...sorry... I mean..."

 _Was she really?_

Erwin closed the distance between them and all her thoughts scattered.

She held her breathe as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, bending so their eyes were on the same level.

"Historia," his deep voice reverberated against her ear. She felt like she was a little girl, being coaxed to come out of her hiding.

"I'm _not_ a boy. I don't play game."

Staring at him, Historia saw someone else... She blinked and the presence was disappeared.

 _Who was she kidding?_

Unlike someone else, who was still trying to figure out head and tail, Erwin knew exactly what he wanted, the right thing to say, which string to tug, and familiar with all her edges and ridges.

 _And Eren?_

Maybe nothing changed between them after all. Eren remained as the reminder of her former awkward self—like those oversize clothes and pathetic little apples—she wished so hard to forget.


	7. Chapter 7

Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime

 **Crash test**

Although an hour ago he had been seething with an urge to wreck something, he was completely numb when Historia approached him outside the class.

 _Not now_.

Pretending not to see her, he turned corner, swinging his bag with unnecessary force to display his sour mood. He quickened his stride down the stairs. Another turn and of course she was still behind him, trying to catch her breath.

Historia was stubborn when she wanted to be and this was one of the time. Here she was, determinedly following the man who was purposely avoiding her. Would he like to find her pelting his balcony window later?

With that thought he finally slowed down, letting her to catch on him.

"Eren," she called, grabbing his arm.

"Could you not touch me?"

His words cut like sharp grass and she instinctively withdrew her hand.

"I expect you want to hear my explanation," she said with a pained look.

He knew damn well what had happened—a girl didn't get to be chauffeured around by somebody's husband without any strings attached—so she should have just dropped the innocent act.

"I didn't know what to do when Erwin suddenly showed up and offered me a ride..."

It was only yesterday that man had officially made way back into Historia's life yet he obviously had wasted no time into making her all about him. _Erwin Erwin Erwin,_ even the way she said his name spelled out intimacy.

"You should know that Erwin is not with his wife anymore," she added carefully.

He knew where this was going.

"I think—" she trailed off, hesitating. "—he is considering to start things with me."

For a split second, Historia saw something break in Eren's eyes. But he quickly recovered, keeping his face hard and straight.

"You mean, _you're_ considering it," he enunciated his words with force, couldn't help how bitter he had sounded.

She came up next to him and said in sad, pleading voice, "What do you think I should do?"

 _What the hell do you expect me to say! Stop looking as if this was my fault!_

She was supposed to argue and he was never supposed to have to answer that question. It wasn't even his place to get emotionally involved.

"Whatever," he blurted, a tad annoyed. "But you should've known, emulating your mother wouldn't do you any good."

In an instant, a loud smack could be heard and he suddenly found himself rubbing his cheek where it had been hit.

 _He had struck a nerve._

"Grow up, Eren," she prompted icily, no longer looking sad and vulnerable.

Glowering, he edged closer to her.

"Stop taking me for a fool." There was underlying warning in his respond. "You just use me to get back to _him_."

Historia took a sharp breath as a pang of guilt gripped her heart. All the words were gone from her lips as she stood very still, the rain was beginning to fall drop by drop.

 **Closed book**

That semester, they drifted apart.

Historia had stopped coming to his place and had been hanging with new group of friends.

Armin said they were at that age when bonding could happen overnight and went forgotten the next day. Jean simply told him that she had deliberately cut him out.

It was a clean, unceremonious separation, in which he had no say. He shrugged it off like it was meant to happen. After all, their pseudo relationship was a product of circumstances. He just happened to be _there_ when she was looking for distraction.

Inspite of their mutual consent, he could sense a wall he didn't bother to break. Just like Historia always knew where to find him, but not the other way around... Just like his thought about bidding time with nothing to lose... Just like Historia imagined someone else whenever he was inside her...

The idea of them without those boundary was alien to him. Because to tell the truth, Historia's emotional baggage would scare all the nice boys away. Shitty mother... bully... adultery... they were something he couldn't relate, let alone to deal with. She was better off with Erwin Smith.

 _He had always thought it would be Erwin too..._

Anyway, the girl had moved on and his part on her story had ended. There was simply no happy ending for them.

 **Thick-skinned**

"It must be Ymir. My hands are kind of full here. Could you open the door, Historia?"

Mina Carolina was busy dealing with the leaked faucet, surrounded by damp towels and tools which mostly they weren't familiar with. Both of them had unsuccesfully spent thirty minutes to find the exact tool shown on Youtube channel when the bell rang.

Historia nodded and dashed to the front door. Without looking, she swung the door open then let out a gasp.

Eren Yeager was outside the door, looking the same as four months ago only his hair longer. He was as surprised as her, clearly not expecting to see her, especially with her looking like a drowned victim—soaked thoroughly, water dripping down her chin, transparent shirt showing underwear.

Slamming the door on reflex, Historia rushed back inside in panic.

"MINA! WHY IS EREN YEAGER HERE!?" she screeched histerically, taking the nearest towel and clutching it to her chest.

"Is it not Ymir—Oh, right! She has called to let me know her colleague would come instead!" Mina exclaimed. "Let him in!"

"I-I can't! I'm not decent! You go by yourself!"

Mina sighed as the click sound of bedroom door's lock was heard.

...

"Are you sure you don't want to stay the night? This area isn't safe for girl, especially at this hour."

The district where Mina lived was famous for night-life entertainment. At night, bars and clubs flourished, hidden alley boasted exclusive hideout for member-only, and the road bustled with many kind of men.

"Don't worry, I'll walk fast and ignore anybody who tries to talk to me," Historia assured Mina. "Sorry I wasn't really helpful before."

Mina eyed her suspiciously. "You totally freaked out and locked yourself the whole time Ymir's colleague fixing the pipe. What's the deal with you and that guy?"

Making up reason that she needed to catch the train, she had escaped Mina's interrogation right away. Historia had no doubt that Mina would spread it to the others—Ymir, Hicks, Hannah... She better be prepared for next time.


	8. Chapter 8

Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime

 **Look away**

Historia cursed her luck. She should have listened to Mina and spent the night.

It wasn't even weekend, but the narrow road before her was crowded. There were bars and clubs along the road, each brimming with customers. Wary about behavior of some drunken men in cramped space, she turned corner, finding another shortcut.

Unlike flashy main street, the small street was quieter with less light, hardly anybody roamed there. Carefully mapping her way, Historia began her little detour.

Everything was fine until she was few blocks away from the station. Sensing that someone was following her, Historia began to move faster, not daring to look back. Her stomach lurched in terror as her brain recalled news about mafia's increasing activity in the area.

 _What do I get myself into?_

The neighborhood reminded her of a maze as she was getting her farther and farther away from her destination. There were no more footsteps but she still kept her pace as precaution.

She didn't give much thought to her surrounding until she almost ran into a speeding motorcycle. The thing had come out of nowhere, but managed to stop in time and so did Historia's breath.

Though unharmed, the small girl was paralyzed in fear, already had it in mind what kind of man one might run into in seedy place like this. Chill running through her spine as the rider taking off his helmet to reveal—

"—EREN!"

 _What is he doing here? Can't be a coincidence—_

"A-are you stalking me?" she accused him straight away.

"Excuse me?" He looked annoyed. "My working place is around here."

"I see..." she mumbled, glancing around nervously. Under the dim light, everything looked more suspicious... "I'm kind of lost here. Sorry for-"

"Do you need a lift?"

His offer had surprised her. Considering how abrupt and one-sided things had ended between them—not to mention she had slammed the door on his face earlier—it would make sense for him to hold some grudges. But he seemed to have put all that behind. Eren might be more grown up than she had ever given him credits for...

Shifting uneasily, she turned him down before stepping away awkwardly.

 _Go away go away go away_

Historia chanted those words like mantra, having hard time walking with him watching her back. She was set in her plan to ignore him but then her sandals—the exact pair which proned to accident—decided to betray her.

To her horror, she lost her balance, tripping backward without nothing to hold onto until her back bumped against something firm. When she looked up, Eren was towering over her.

Historia muffled her gasp when he suddenly drawing her close.

"Leave me be or I'll scream that you molest me!" she cried in panic, totally abandoning her plan of staying cool.

"Oh mother what do I do," Eren pretended to be hurt by her words. "This is my playground. I practically know everyone here."

Historia shrank as he approached her.

He was dangerously close. Between the wall and him, she was trapped with nowhere to go. Then, for the first time in months, Historia finally saw Eren Yeager up close.

He was wearing what appeared to be his waiter uniform—long sleeved white shirt, black vest, black tie, black trouser. His longer hair—she wondered what had made him growing them in the first place—was now slicked back, giving him air of maturity. And he seemed to have shed some baby fat as well, face all angle and sharp.

 _Boy was she missing much..._

That treacherous feeling had begun to grow inside her stomach while the alarm inside her brain was sounding non-stop.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, finding herself on the receiving end of his sharp gaze. _He_ _wasn't supposed to see her like this...conflicted._

A momentary silence later he let out a snicker, startling her.

"Oh, please Historia," he sighed dramatically. "You act like I'm going to attack you any moment."

Before she could utter another word, he had pulled away.

"It's getting late and your type tends to attract unwanted attention."

She wasn't quite sure if it was a good idea to accept his offer, it could very well turn into another slip-out...

"I'm just doing you a favor. Don't read too much into it," he added bluntly, one hand holding out an extra helmet.

...

"Thank you, Eren."

They had reached the station.

Historia bowed in gratitude, lips turning up into a mechanical smile. He strained to remember if she'd ever smiled in ease, that tinge of sadness was always there like a second nature.

"It's nothing. You're better be going."

He chose not to say anything about it. The weight of their last argument still hung heavily. She couldn't even raise her head to look directly at him.

"Bye."

...

Historia waited until his form in black and white had disappeared before giving in to her jelly-like knees. Crouching down, she breathed in relief.

 **Young, pretty, and dead**

Barely sixteen, Historia was a stranger to the way of man. Naive, sweet, but stiff at the edges—those qualities made her approachable and unattainable at the same time.

The man who sitting in front of her was a family friend and it began with, _did you know that I could read palm?_ and she obliged right away. What could possibly go wrong?

"You trust people so easily," her companion teased as her small hand had settled on his opened one. "It will be a wonder if you don't end up with the first person who asks you out."

"I don't-..." Not sure of what to say, she stopped.

"No? I bet boys won't leave you alone."

 _No, not really, well, maybe a little..._

The ice cream she ordered had long forgotten. Historia found herself telling him about a very rude classmate before realizing that they had been holding hands for awhile. She stumbled mid-sentence, searching for his eyes.

There was something there she couldn't quite read and she questioned him with a look to which he responded by tightening his grip.

 _Her mother, her father... they shouldn't expect her to just sit pretty when Erwin Smith made a pass to her..._

 _Historia wasn't that naive to know that by the end of the night, he'd be back to his wife. But at least, at this very moment, he was hers..._

 _So why not._

And she allowed herself to play recklessly.

...

It was nearly midnight by the time they were ready to leave, but Erwin was still talking to an acquaintance while she was stuck waiting.

Earlier, he had given her his wallet to settle the bill. Had nothing to do, she flipped around it, noting the crisp bills, cards, and—entirely on impulse, she took a piece of paper out—an old photograph.

A girl in dark hair staring back at her, not accusing, but she felt chastised.

She wondered why he had picture of another girl but not his wife.

Unconsciously, her finger traced the picture, trying to place something. The longer she looked, the more familiar it seemed, until she was overcame with a sense of dejavu. Countryside, city girl, flowers, story book, straw hat, long black hair, grazing wound, warm smile— _Freida_.

"Have you finished looking?" His voice every bit as calm and composed as before.

 _You're married, yet still carrying around the picture of a dead girl_ , was what she had wanted to say. But being a politician's daughter had taught her better than that.

"Oh, you caught me," she faked a gasp, clumsy fingers putting the well kept photograph back, before returning the wallet to him. "Please don't tell my mother, I'll be scolded for sure."

Then with a well put embarassed smile, she slinked away.

No explanation needed. His solemn expression already told her more than he let on.


	9. Chapter 9

Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime

 **Artificial star**

 _Historia! I almost didn't recognize you! Your hair's grown so long from behind I thought you were someone else!_

Sasha quickly launched herself, bombarded Historia, turning heads their way.

 _I'm not only talking about your hair. You change your style as well, am I right? Now you aim for more mature style—ah, don't worry, you still look great! Hey, hey what happened..._

It had been half a year already since the last time she spoke to Historia. Sasha hadn't dared to bring it up, but one day, like some sort of unspoken agreement, Historia had left. Her intuition told her that she must've had fallen out with someone from the group...

 _Was it Eren...?_

Historia sheepishly lowered her head, pretending to smooth her already wrinkle-free dress.

 _OH MY GOD, IT WAS!_

—

She wondered if Erwin was imagining she was her sister. Her longer hair was let loose, she wore white dresses in simple cut...

Sasha pointed it out to her nicely. Someone else had mentioned the same thing along the line. They all meant that she had changed, trying to look mature for her older boyfriend.

To them her mother scrunched her nose in disgust, saying unkindly, "That man's grooming you to be Frieda."

Historia had begun to get sick... that maybe for once, her mother was right.

 **Like staring directly into the sun**

She had wished for a sign. Out of nowhere, out of expectation, she passed him by. Nothing extraordinary about it. A lot of people using this line, so they bound to run into one another at one point.

Going off the train, they walked together to the university. The smell of osmanthus lingered in the air. Historia felt relaxed. For once she strayed from her usual timidness.

"We should have lunch. As friends."

Eren looked at her in wonder, imagining she had some kind of fight with that daddy long legs of hers and resorted to this cheap shot. He forgot, sometimes, how petulant Historia could be.

"Friends, huh," he lamented, purposely delaying to see her grow uneasy. "Makes me wonder about that, since friends wouldn't run away at the first sign of confrontation, would they?"

That line could very well be translated as, _Do you still remember that time when you purposely cut me out?_

She would have fled had he not twitched and let out a chortle, "That face you make!"

She prompty looked away, kicking herself to appear so guilt-ridden.

When he was done laughing, he said, "Friend to friend, I heard you and Erwin are official now. I'm glad for you."

Historia felt her throat closed up. The truth clogged down there, but her pride had spoken.

"Thank you, Eren."

—

Their knees knocked under the table. Both of them pretended to be unaware about that, choosing to focus on their surrounding instead.

The cafeteria was quiet since lunch time had passed. Few students chattered behind them. Eren overheard them planning to skip the next class, which he could totally relate to.

When he turned around, Historia was gazing up to him with an awe expression. "Did you grow...taller?"

"I'm still growing, you know," he playfully bumped his shoulder into hers, secretly pleased. "Say, Historia."

As though could read his mind, she said, "Don't even joke about my height."

 **Terms and condition**

"Move, this box is heavy," Eren warned Zeke, who quickly gave him a way. "Mom sent me a lot of vegetables and told me to share some with you."

"Any homemade food?" the older sibling peered behind him.

"Yeah, we can have them for lunch."

The lunch was delicious, but it left a bad aftertaste. They were debating Eren's reason to turn down an internship opportunity in another city.

"You do realize you can't keep wasting time," Zeke tried to knock some sense into his head. "When your choice is limited, you can't afford to be picky."

Eren narrowed his eyes in displeasure but had said nothing. He already had suspicion that his mother must have asked Zeke to counsel him. Lately all she had been talking about was who got what internship or even early job offer, giving him subtle push to start sending out resumes and what-not.

"Don't tell me you're reluctant to leave because of a girl."

With a sigh, Zeke retreated into his bedroom and reappeared with a book. Without warning, he tossed it to Eren, who caught it just in time.

"You showed me your yearbook, so I'm showing you mine," said the older Yeager.

Glancing sideway, he found Zeke scratching his ear—a peculiar habit everytime he found something amusing.

Eren wasn't in the mood to argue so he did as he was told, flipping pages randomly until

his eyes came across a familiar face with long dark hair, porcelain skin, and cold expression.

"Frieda Reiss," he read. _Another Reiss, now that made sense._ The girl held an uncanny resemblance to Historia. But at the same time, she was very different.

"Erwin Smith's ex. Would have been Mrs. Smith had that unfortunate accident not happened."

Eren stared hard at him, couldn't really decide whether he was playing him or telling the truth, while his brain slowly connecting something...

"You knew _this_ but didn't tell me."

Zeke gave him a fraction of a smile.

"What would you do then?"


	10. Chapter 10

Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime

 **She was young and feeling seasick**

Erwin had claimed work had been busy then without warning showed up in front of her door, catching her off guard on faded top and checkered pants. He proceeded to haul Historia into the car, disregarding her attempt to protest with calming nonchalance.

Before she could grasp what had happened, both of them were standing in front of clear glass, gazing at jellyfish bobbing up and down in unhurried manner. Never before in her life had she seen them so close nor experienced a quaint aquarium after closing hour.

Too perplexed to make any conversation, Historia's eyes following the glowing creatures in curiosity. The blue light reflecting around them and the gurgling sound of water had strangely calming effect. She felt so surreal...

Coming down from high, she found Erwin looking at her with faraway expression. It bothered her whenever he did that, because for a brief moment, she would wonder if he was imagining she was someone else...

"Is everything okay?"

Historia didn't say anything but leaning against him, too tired to fight.

 _She couldn't keep up with her... Frieda would forever be eighteen, while she would be running out of time any day now..._

That thought was heading nowhere when Erwin placed a blue box on her opened palm.

 **He was never fond of complicated thing**

 _Do you know_ , Jean began casually, _Historia's boyfriend?_

Eren shrugged, _yeah.._. He wasn't entirely comfortable with where this conversation was going. _Sorry, but I need to go._

 _Where are you going?_ Armin carefully asked.

He could already feel their disapproval and held back his tongue.

 _Going out with Historia again?_ Jean winced. _You have no tact at all, don't you?_

He decided he couldn't take it anymore, making his way out in long strides. The audacity of those two... It wasn't as though he had to explain everything to them.

He still could hear Armin. _You shouldn't have done that, Eren!_

But he made no promise.

 **Nothing could break their fall**

It was hard to be good when a pretty boy checked on her. People would make assumption, she would deny.

Historia looked at Eren looking at her, and wondered what they were doing.

She supposed that she wasn't doing anything unfaithful. But there was a mixed-in that made her stomach churn, feeling wrong, that even she herself wouldn't accept it.

 _Today was a bad day, she could already feel it._

Sitting in the quiet rooftop, Historia lit her cigarette, careful not to let the cigarette butt to fall on her long, impractical dress—Frieda owned a great number of dresses in similar fashion and had always looked effortlessly good on them.

"Aren't you trying too hard?" Eren suddenly said, scanning her from head to toe. _It's like looking at that girl from Zeke's yearbook._

Historia seemed to get what he had implied, turning her face away. She could pretend otherwise, but she wouldn't get past Eren.

"I'm fine," she said, and her words faltered slightly against the howl of wind, sounded off and jagged. Even she was unsure of herself.

"I don't get these." Eren absent-mindedly ran his fingers through his hair. "You are fine being a placeholder...?"

In her innocent fashion, Historia met his gaze and the words died on his tongue. Maybe she should have been an opinionated girl, making loud enough noises to get away. But instead she slumped against the wall and spoke softly, "It's not that bad... I know it will get better."

Eren looked at her as if she was dumb.

"You _are_ delusional," he marveled. "Have you learned nothing after all?"

He had a feeling that she would cry a lot in the future. That thought made his chest constrict in a way he had never thought before. It was then he knew.

 _He waited and waited for a precise moment to stake his claim. But after all he was just a sentiment, the second best. Easily to get replaced when the main guy came along._

"If everything's not bad, then what are you doing here with me?" he asked quietly.

Historia's eyes glazed over. Her jaw worked but no sound came out. The ring box hung heavily inside her pocket as she reached up for him.

"Eren..."

He raised a hand in front of her face, a verbal equivalent of him telling her to stop.

"Historia, I draw the line here," his voice was utterly calm. "We need to stop playing this game. I wouldn't keep up with whatever you throw me."

She found herself at the focus of his piercing gaze.

"I have no interest in taking a second place. You know how well _that_ turned out to be."

She might be dysfunctional and awkward but she knew.

 _He had started to look at her the same way she looked at Erwin. Inspite of that, she chose to turn blind. Utterly despicable._


	11. Chapter 11

Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime

 **At fifteen**

Historia wished life to be simple. Then, God decided that she needed more challenge, likely on a foreign environment.

 _God, how can you be so cruel..._

Facing rows of new faces in front of her, Historia faked a smile and introduced herself.

"Hello, I'm Historia Reiss. My family moved here from capital city. We are living in the ranch nearby. It's nice to meet you."

"How do you like it here?" the teacher asked pleasantly. "I'm sure it's very different from the city."

"This town is more relaxed and quiet with beautiful mountain and beach. I feel very lucky to be here and can't wait to explore more," she recited her 'textbook' answer.

A snicker was heard across the room, prompting the teacher to react, "Do you mind sharing with the class what you find so funny, Yeager?"

"I don't mean to be rude. But what's so interesting about this place?"

Historia found a dark haired boy with eyes that reminded her of storm, chin propped up on one hand, at the end of the room.

Her first impression was that she wouldn't get along very well with him.

...

There were days she loathed to stay at home. She was a ghost, lingering corner, waiting for her mother to take notice. When it never happened, she went places.

"I want to be someone else," she told Erwin Smith. "If I were older and my circumstances were different..."

She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes grew heavy lidded, rearranging her face into sad expression _._

He reached over to wipe her tears and she felt silly. _This body of hers, felt too small, for a wish that was too big._

...

Eren Yeager wasn't a troublemaker by nature, but his hotheaded attitude always landed him in trouble. He spent most of them in detention, she recalled. Even then, it couldn't keep him at bay.

As new student, Historia had intended to keep her head low. She was avoiding him like a plague, but her peace wouldn't last for so long.

It started with Home Economy.

" _If I'm not wrong, don't you always have an apple for lunch?"_

Historia wondered why Eren, out of all people, notice that.

" _Your man is a married man! Seriously, what's wrong with you!"_

And he wouldn't leave her alone, even after he had learned the ugly truth.

 _Why did you care so much, Eren? Do you like me?_

That line was repeating like a loop inside Historia's mind, saying it was another thing.

 **Weathered girl**

Historia counted to a hundred and reached his door bell. Pressing it lightly—being mindful to his neighbors since it was still early—she waited for a whole minute before trying again.

The bell rang and rang, but there was nobody answered. After a moment, she stopped, calming herself, and tried again. Her heart thumped wildly. Something definitely was off...

On her fiftieth attempt, Historia's hand had covered her mouth, stifling the sobs that began to come.

"Historia, right?"

She had thought it was his preachy neighbour—a good girl shouldn't come and go as she pleases, that man used to say. Well, she was sick of being one.

Holding her tears, she turned around to find a bespectacled man.

 _Who?_

"I'm Eren's brother, Zeke. Do you have a moment to join me?"

...

" _Eren almost rejected the offer, he was keen on staying here. I'm so relieved when he finally came to his senses._

 _It was very sudden though, no time to say proper good bye, won't even attend his graduation ceremony either. But we all agree that he needs to move up somehow. It's all for the best."_

Eren had dissappeared without telling her anything.

 _The cheek of him to make her sitting there while receiving pity stare from his brother—_

Historia was on her knees, feeling sick with tears that kept spilling no matter how many times she had wiped them away.

 **Heavy rain**

"Out of all places, you pick this one," Erwin hummed appreciatively. "Are you feeling nostalgic?"

They were sitting face to face in what appeared to be Marie Antoinette's living room. Big mirror and tall windows brightened the room so much it would be hard to hide anything.

"So you still remember." Historia had a tiny smile. "You took me here on our first date. I wonder if they still have that terrible drink you ordered that time..."

Picking up the air of distress around her, he suddenly said, "I can take a guess why you pick this place."

Sitting ramrod straight, Historia watched him idly stirring his coffee with a wistful expression she knew only too well. For years he wore that expression whenever she was too busy brooding to realize what matter. Erwin had always known her better than herself, so maybe this time too, he could set her right...

"Boy's trouble?"

Her tiny smile had completely disappeared. Shoulders hunched up in defense but she was getting unraveled. She couldn't meet his eyes anymore.

"I... have to return these." Presenting the blue box in front of her, she bowed down apologetically. "I'm sorry..."

Historia heard the chair moving and steps. A moment later, she felt Erwin's presence. His gentle fingers tilted her chin up.

Between tears, everything was blurry, but she knew that he was kneeling beside her, waiting with unassuming patience.

"Did you ever ask for the ring?"

Historia slowly shook her head.

"Then you don't need to feel sorry for me."

She was at loss of words, knowing that she didn't deserve it. Without a word, Erwin pulled her into an embrace, his own way to say, that after all had been said and done, they could still be friends.


	12. Chapter 12

Things were so different weeks ago. Now graduation day was coming, her career had just started (the perk of being Reiss: nepotism at its best!) and suddenly she ran into Eren's older brother two blocks from the office.

Historia was speechless while Zeke observed her like a doctor examined his patient.

"Try some sleep. You look like a ghost."

"A ghost?" Historia's eyebrows shot up.

"There's nothing, really. Just stress from work," she assured him.

Her mouth was smiling and her eyes were somewhat blank; Zeke thought Historia was a terrible liar.

"Forgive me to assume everything was alright. Is there anything I miss?" he inquired.

"Well..." Historia inhaled deeply, considering to cast off her pride or go mental. It felt like a long while before she made up her mind.

"Maybe Eren didn't tell you, but things weren't always good between us...

Because I was afraid to do the right thing, I ended up hurting him. He's a proud guy, and I am too. I didn't even realize how broken hearted I was until he has just disappeared without a word.

Now it's too late... I don't know anymore what's the right thing to do..."

 _Suppose he had gone away imagining that she picked Erwin over him, wouldn't that mean she really messed up for good?_

Realization came hit Historia and she began to fret like a child. But then Zeke did the most unexpected thing...

"What was that for?" She stared aghast at Zeke who had just flicked her forehead.

"Silly little Historia," he said in scolding manner. "You can always try. If there isn't a little pain, how can you call it romance?"

 **Friday night came**

The phone rang.

She wearily glanced to the alarm. 02:15.

"Hello, Historia speaking," she said with as much annoyance as she could muster.

The speaker on the other line stayed silent to her chagrin.

"I'm going to hang now. Good night."

"...Historia."

She sank further on the bed.

 _Was she dreaming?_

"Eren...?"

There was a rustle. She could imagine him adjusting something, phone kept between neck and shoulder.

"It's too early to call, right?"

A sharp intake of breath.

"Where are you?" she demanded.

...

Historia quickly slid down her path to the empty park across her apartment building. Her red hoodie starked ablaze in the quiet darkness. Despite knowing what to be expected, her heart still did a somersault when Eren came into her field of vision.

"Hey," he drawled, his head tilted up towards her.

Historia had wanted to hug him, to slap him, but couldn't really make up her mind. The combination of late hour and his sudden appearance had drained her will. Everything almost didn't feel real.

"I wanted to see how you were doing," he said after awhile.

Historia blinked tentatively.

"I wish you did that sooner."

"I wish I did, too," he repeated.

Historia wordlessly stared at her shoes, prompting him to come and lean down to her height. Their eyes met and without knowing why, she started to cry.

"You said we needed to stop playing the game. And then you left me..." she said at last.

 _It hadn't been easy for him. But when he realized he wasn't the only one who felt that way, it gave him hope._

His fingers brushed some tears off her face. His head got clearer.

"I'm sorry," he hadn't had the courage to say it before, but now he did, "It's going to take time. But once I'm there, I'm going to take you with me. Can you wait?"

Historia didn't answer right away and instead she scrutinized him.

Still in his working suit and tie, Eren looked dishevelled and tired. Probably had been driving non-stop—"Six hours by car," Zeke had summed up the reason why he wouldn't see Eren anytime soon—just to be here _,_ while he could just ring her.

There was never going to be a big house with a yard. But she supposed that he loves her anyway, to keep coming back after the pain she had put him through. Her feeling also told her that they would be very, very happy together.

And so Historia closed her eyes and hoped for the best.

"I'll be waiting for you."


End file.
